Missing in Perpetual Action

I can't believe it's been over 2 months since I last blogged. Oops. But there are reasons...

Basically, I'm a one-blog kind of gal. And last November, my friend Judy got very sick. She lived in Charlotte, NC and had spent a lifetime collecting friends from all over the place. And now she was sick. And the last thing you want to do when you are sick and feel sick is talk about being sick. Over and over again. Repeatedly, as you call each friend in your address book.

So, instead of cooking soup, or sending flowers, I offered to start a carepage for her. And I did. And it was a very different type of writing experience. One in which you had to spin everything to the positive when it was really so very negative. It surprises and shocks me still how short lived that blog was, and how abruptly ended.

Judy died on January 4th, and I miss her. Part of my absence from blogging has been from distraction in writing for her, and part has been from the grief of missing her. And I won't deny a little procrastination mixed in.

But this is a life blog. The chronicle of my first child. I'm pleased to share that his life managed to intersect with hers, despite the fact that they only shared this world for 8 months. We traveled to Charlotte in December for 5 days. All she had to say was, "You'd better come now." My mother, saint that she is, tagged along to care for Jonas while I cared for Judy. The sweetest moment was one in which Judy gifted Jonas with a knitted sweater and hat. She'd started the sweater before Jonas was born. Then she broke her right arm, then her left arm. It seemed that the chemo had made her bones so fragile and brittle. Everyone knows you just can't knit with one arm. So she asked her wonderful friend Barb to finish the project for her. And here we all are, with Jonas modeling his new digs.


Judy is in the center and Barb is on the left.

While in Charlotte, Jonas got to spend some time with his Aunt Desi (who drove up from Atlanta) and his Nonnie. He also visited the Briggemans: Erin, Todd, and Putter. I think they should send out this photo as their 2009 xmas card, just to see what kind of phone calls it would generate....


After spending Thanksgiving in Kansas City with Ed's mom, brother and family (why don't I have any pictures of that?), we traveled to Louisiana for Christmas at Nonnie's place. Here are some photos of the trip, including a visit with the Scotts, a bath in the sink, and Jonas' first Santa suit, a gift from Nonnie.





Since Christmas, Jonas has had two sets of visitors: friends Brian, Lauren, and Ainsley drove in from Cincinnati. And then he spent the weekend with his two aunts, Desi and Tara. We are waiting on photos from Brian, but here's one with his two aunts:

That's Tante Desi on the left and Tante Tara on the right.

Whew! Now that I look back at the past two months, I understand why I'm just now getting around to blogging!

Maybe tomorrow I'll get a few minutes to get online and share about daycare, playgroups, and RSV! But for now, I hear the boy crying and need to see to him.

Staying Warm

Nonnie visited this past week and weekend, and we had lots of adventures with her. Most importantly, Jonas turned 6 mos old during her stay. We went to our 6 month visit with the pediatrician, and Jonas received his scheduled immunizations, except for Hep B, which I declined. He is now 27 inches long, which means he's grown 2 inches in the 30 days. No wonder nothing fits! Also, Jonas has another tooth coming out on the bottom, and one on top. In the past 6 weeks, he's cut a total of 4 teeth. He's added prunes and peas to his food repertoire, and is still not sleeping through the night, although he managed to go 4 hours at a time last night rather than the usual 2. I'd say that's progress.

On Friday, we decided to venture to an outdoor activity here in KC known as "First Fridays" which basically involves art gallery hopping within a 20 block area of midtown. Here's how we dressed Jonas for the chilly event:


Does he look warm enough? He was really laid back (pun intended!) the whole evening. Because he'd had his immunizations, I was worried he was having a reaction. But no. As soon as we took him out of this warm, comfy snowsuit, his default (active) personality returned. I think this suit restricted his movements and kept him so warm that he was forced to relax! I wonder if we can get one in his Poppa's size?

Surgery Day

From Nov 1, 2008

So here's how it went down. We had a sleepless night before the surgery. I had insomnia until about 12:30, and Jonas woke at 3:00 a.m. screaming. We think it was gas. Ed got him back to sleep around 4, and we woke at 5:00 to get to the hospital by 6:00. We met with an anesthesiologist who told us his grandson had had this same operation. He kept mentioning a caudal, and I finally asked him to spell it and explain it. It seems to be similar to an epidural in that it blocks the pain in the lower body. Jonas was to be "gassed" to sleep, then have an IV inserted into his foot, and then the caudal would be administered. When I asked the anesthesiologist whether he was glad his son had the surgery, he said "well, his mother was ecstatic with the results." How weird this seemed to me.

We then met Dr. Woodruff, a medical resident from Little Rock. He looked 18 but had a softer demeanor, not as aloof as the other docs.

Jonas finally fell back asleep right as they took him into surgery around 7:00. I had changed him into a tiny hospital gown (tied in the back) with blue hospital baby socks. He looked so pale and small wrapped in a warm blanket. It seemed strange to hand him over to the nurse who tucked her paperwork under her arm and simply carried him away from us.

We waited in a family area at the hospital until 10:30 when the doctor came in to tell us all was well. This doctor has no bedside manner, and had been very abrupt. When I asked him to re-explain the procedure to us earlier that morning, he was short and impatient. He used the words stint and catheter interchangeably, which initially confused me. It was a possibility that the repair would involved leaving a catheter / stint in the urethra. It would (and does) look like a piece of spaghetti. It's not connected to anything, and the urine flows out of it into the diaper. We have an appt to remove it (if it doesn't fall out on its own) next Monday.

I was so glad to finally have him back in my arms around 11:30. We waited for him in the hall (they call it "Reunion Alley") and when they carried him out, he was groggy, pale, and seemed bloated. I tried to nurse immediately, since his last feeding had been at 3:00 a.m. He only nursed for a few minutes. The nurse then took out his IV, and we changed him back into his footed sleeper. We were home by 12:30.

As a funny aside, while we were at the hospital this morning, our tree trimmers (7 men, 3 chainsaws, 2 trucks and one giant semi with a motorized claw) showed up un-announced. We came home with our delicate bundle in the midst of their work. And the wood for our house renovation was delivered and left on the driveway. AND all of Ed's credit cards were swiped from his wallet WHILE HE WAS WEARING IT. We didn't discover this last tidbit until he went to pick up Jonas' prescriptions.

Boy did we feel overwhelmed. The whole family napped from 3-5:30 and we all felt better.

New Tricks

Jonas did not get any candy for Halloween. His only treats were the carrots his mother pureed for him. But he has learned lots of new tricks.

He's pretty much sitting up on his own, although he's still a bit wobbly. He grabs everything within reach, including mom's hair, poppa's nose, eyeglasses, drinking glasses, the remote control, the phone, and any nearby food. He's learned how to spin his Leap Frog toy - I'm not sure what it's called, but it seems like an ABC oriented slot machine. He can now read the daily newspaper. Well, it's more like eating the daily newspaper. (Don't worry Nonnie - Ed says it's soy-based ink). And speaking of eating, he is a pro with the spoon now. He loves his rice cereal, and has enjoyed squash, peas, carrots, and pears. He is not fond of apples.

Some of the things we're not so proud he's learned include: sleeping with mommy and poppa and not in his crib. Waking up every two hours for feedings. Taking 20 minute naps.

He still loves to smile at strangers, and can make his mom's heart melt with his lopsided grin. Like this one...


Yes, that was one of his Halloween costumes. I called him my little penguin. (Thanks for the t-shirt Aunt Desi!) But he was also a pumpkin (Thank you Nonnie!) This was the perfect outfit for bowling with his Poppa and fellow engineers: Andy, Erin, Dan, Chase, and Matt.


After his busy day of bowling and photo shoots, he was ready to hand out candy to the neighborhood kiddos. Next year, though, he'll be working the sidewalk, knocking on doors, and earning that candy!

A letter to my son

Dear Son:

I have waited so long to share my life with you. It is important to me that I be all things to you, and for you. I do this out of love and do not regret or resent a thing. Among the many things I am for you....

• I am your personal shopper; I hand select your clothing.
• I am your serenader; I sing you to sleep and distract you when you're crying with silly songs.
• I am your entertainer; I play games with you and make sure you have the best toys.
  
• I am your educator; I read you poetry and explain the world to your wonderous eyes.
  
• I am your valet; I coordinate your outfits and make sure they are dye and fragrance free.
• I am your nurse; I measure your medication, and make sure you get enough but not too much; I monitor your temperature, intake, output, etc.
  
• I am your private chef; I make organic babyfood from select fresh produce and store it in the most BPA-free way I can.
• I am your chauffeur; I bring you to countless doctor appointments and stroll you in sunshine; I carry your 20 lb bulk in an awkward carseat and never leave you alone in the car.

But one thing I am not.

I am not your teething ring so please STOP BITING MY NIPPLES.

And while you're at it, stop popping my bra strap too.

A mother's rant....

Jonas just had his first medical procedure, a surgical repair for hypospadias. Hypospadias is a condition that occurs in approximately 1 in 125 boys. The penis develops in utero between 9 and 20 weeks. Sometimes, the development of the penis stops before its complete. The result is that the urethra opening is located on the underside of the penis rather than on the tip. In Jonas' case, the opening is in the distal area, right under the head. And rather than having a complete foreskin, he only has a partial foreskin on the top of the penis. Apparently, his penis head looks like a shovel instead of a nicely rounded head. It hasn't affected anything practical like his ability to urinate.

In this procedure, our pediatric urologist extended the urethra to the tip of the penis (it has previously been located just under the head) by pulling together skin. He then completed a circumcision of the partial foreskin. When I changed the first diaper, I was horrified at what seemed to be a barbaric butchery of my son's most sensitive and delicate area. I was stuck. I felt like a bad mother for exposing our son to this pain when his penis and urethra seemed to work just fine. But all the doctors we consulted (I asked 3) told us this was medically necessary, and he would be emotionally scarred for life if we didn't do this.

When I was in law school, I wrote a paper in an international human rights class about genital mutilation, specifically, female circumcision. Basically, certain African cultures believe that a girl's genital area should be surgically altered in order to fit within social and cultural norms. How is this different? Ed would be quick to remind me that our pediatrician mentioned potential fertility problems for Jonas as an adult if no repair were performed. But I don't really buy that. His urethra was just below the penis head. How could this significantly affect sperm from fertilizing an egg?

The whole event felt traumatic. I'm not sure it was the right decision. However, once he's healed, and I know everything will be okay, I will probably agree that it was the right decision. Right now though, I'm very torn.

Daddy Dressed Me Today

It's a cold, rainy day here in Kansas City, so when I asked Ed to dress Jonas, I thought I was being helpful by providing with the appropriate outfit. I didn't think it merited an explanation, but alas, I was wrong.

Here's how Jonas looked when Ed left for work:


Notice the front snaps. His shirt is splayed open like some 70's porn star. These snaps belong in the back, of course. This would be obvious to most people for many reasons. Like the tag inside. On the medallion on the back:


Rather than trying to undress and redress him completely, I tried snapping the front closed. Maybe that would work. Nope. This is what I got:

Hmmmm. Maybe a bit too 007. "My name is Vogt. Jonas Vogt."

Yes, I had to do it. I undressed and re-dressed him.