I have waited so long to share my life with you. It is important to me that I be all things to you, and for you. I do this out of love and do not regret or resent a thing. Among the many things I am for you....
- I am your personal shopper; I hand select your clothing.
- I am your serenader; I sing you to sleep and distract you when you're crying with silly songs.
- I am your entertainer; I play games with you and make sure you have the best toys.
- I am your educator; I read you poetry and explain the world to your wonderous eyes.
- I am your valet; I coordinate your outfits and make sure they are dye and fragrance free.
- I am your nurse; I measure your medication, and make sure you get enough but not too much; I monitor your temperature, intake, output, etc.
- I am your private chef; I make organic babyfood from select fresh produce and store it in the most BPA-free way I can.
- I am your chauffeur; I bring you to countless doctor appointments and stroll you in sunshine; I carry your 20 lb bulk in an awkward carseat and never leave you alone in the car.
I am not your teething ring so please STOP BITING MY NIPPLES.
And while you're at it, stop popping my bra strap too.
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