DTAP and Independence

June 25, 2019

Dr. Isac Rosenberg saw Jonas this morning for his annual physical. As we walked down the dated hallway, memories floated up of walking that same hallway with a heavy infant carrier firmly grasped in my two handed grip. Now I was walking my 11 year old into the exam room, struggling again, but this time to keep up with his lanky, long legged stride.

Dr. Rosenberg's exam was remarkably different, even from last year's exam by Dr. Espe. He asked Jonas all the questions, including ones about smoking. At the end, he even did the gloved two fingered cough to assess for hernia, a word which Jonas knew. (I later learned that Ed had visited with him about the hernia exam the night prior so that he'd know what to expect.)

Though we see the pediatrician annually for physicals, our appointments are typically in the fall. This summer's appointment pre-empted the one already scheduled as Jonas needed a physical for Scout camp.

As one of his last immunization shots, Jonas received a DTAP. He asked the nurse to give him time to prepare, time to relax. I asked if he'd like to listen to Beethoven's Fur Elise to help him. (This is something he does night to help him fall asleep; it's a holdover from his nap times at Bright Horizons.) He agreed, though we got temporarily side tracked when the Youtube search turned up a dubstep version. He handled the shot without a flinch. No tears, no running screaming down the hallway.

As we left, the nurse handed me a paper that contained QR codes with links to more info. It spoke to healthy eating, drug and alcohol use, and sexual activity.

We stopped off at the cafeteria on the way out. Jonas' plate had way more food than mine. I'm surprised he didn't fix himself a cup of coffee.

In separate news from the other boy (they have separate experiences now), I walked him home from Oak for the 2nd day in a row. Yesterday was about showing him; today was about observing him. He passed. When I circled back from my car which I had parked midway home, he asked that I pick him up. When I said we were headed to the grocery, he balked. I persisted. At the store, which is 4 blocks from home, he announced that he would walk home. Alongside Wornall. Through busy intersections. All alone.

What to do? I watched him walk to the edge of the parking lot. He paused. I thought he might be reconsidering. But he wasn't. Then I thought he might be trying to cross a busy 4-lane in the middle and not at a crosswalk. I ran up to him, urgently shouting that he needed to cross at the crosswalk. He said, "Yeah mom, I was waiting to cross the parking lot so that I could do that."

That's when I decided to quickly do my shopping then get in the car to check on him on my way home.

Less than 10 minutes later, I looked for him on the walking path home. I found him at 72nd and Wornall, waiting to cross. I beeped the horn and waved as I drove past, then waited anxiously in the driveway while calling Ed to see if I'd made the right decision.

Sure enough, Gill walked up about 5 minutes later, red in the face and sweating. He was proud, and rightly so. I asked if he'd hit any snags. He admitted that he got "stuck" at that intersection at 72nd and Wornall as the button for a cross signal didn't activate. An older gentleman offered to help him, and Gill accepted. I worry about that as well but really, at the end of the day, it ended well.

Though I praised Gill for his independence and success, I also said that there would have to be a consequence for disobeying me. Ed doesn't believe that he should receive any punishment. What to do?

I predict that this is the child who will turn what non-gray hair I have left into silver.

Eclipse 2017

Monday, August 21, 2017

For this historic eclipse, we travelled to Kearney, MO, birthplace of Jesse James. Ben and Nick Golec joined us because their parents were working. We took the day off, obviously.  Traffic on the way up was minimal. Traffic on the way back was significant. Lots of pouring rain, thunder and lightning during the drive, and for part of the time outside.

We gathered at the home of Adam (he lives with his parents on a big spread of land), an engineer who works for Ed. There were several engineers from Ed's group there, and we visited quite a bit with Ibrahem and Abeer, plus Erin, Todd, and Maddie. Her whole family was there, including parents from TX.

Someone had a hook-up with something called "TrailerGate." It was a trailer that included attached tents, grills, a bathroom, two tvs, satellite, game systems, and cold beer. It was amazing.

The boys ran around the open space, but were particularly interested in a large pile of gravel; it was truly the main attraction and they got very dirty.

The eclipse: we were in awe. It took about 2 hours in total to lose the sun and regain it. It rained a lot before then was cloudy but cleared up for the 2 minutes of totality. How lucky we felt! As the sun disappeared, it got noticeably cooler and we heard "evening" insects and bird song. And of course, it got a lot darker.

Jonas, Ben, Gill, Nick

Gill, showing off his pecs.

The one time they weren't in motion.

Jonas really enjoyed it. He is on Book 6 of Harry Potter.

Ben with the best expression of awe.

Ed wearing his glow-in-the-dark Star Wars shirt

Gravel pile that cause so much dirty

Right after the downpour, the eclipse started.

Gill and Ben

This is how you hold the eclipse glasses on your face.

Partial eclipse in left lens.

Kitchen Remodel Update #7

The kids and I headed to Louisiana for the week and left Ed at home with the kitchen project. I think he's relieved to have us out from under his feet. He sends updates and photos of his progress. Since he's had so much to do at work, he spells himself by alternating office time and demo time. He tells me that this is the first time he's caught up on his backlog of work (not home projects, engineering work) since January. It's got to be stressful to have such a heavy workload plus be the primary on a home project of such magnitude. But he does it! He's an "eat the elephant" kind of guy - he just keep chipping away at these large projects. He works hard, but doesn't ever burn out. It's amazing. 

His primary achievements this past week were to finish creating temporary support walls so that he could demo the remaining area by the basement stairs. He also took off the bathroom door and took down the sheet-rocked wall between the bathroom and butler's pantry. I believe he was able to avoid any further tear-out of plaster and lathe though there may be more of that in the future.  He stopped before tearing out the last of the plaster because it would have meant removal of the toilet and sink. We are loathe to say goodbye to the very last of the running water on the main level. 

What was driving his work this past weekend was the need to fill the dumpsters which is scheduled for pick up today. 

See below for photos and captions of this past weekend's progress. 

Facing west, entrance to basement. The "box" looking thing on the ceiling is the landing of the staircase.
It's not well supported and Ed is working on creating a stronger support system for the stairs. 

Facing north, this window used to be above the sink and will now be above the stove. 

Note temporary support wall in foreground. 

Facing north from hallway looking into kitchen, studs on left will be removed.
Note support wall in center and staircase platform landing directly above it.

The bathroom is no longer private. Looking north from Butler's Pantry into bathroom, both sides of the
wall are gone (plaster / lathe and sheet rock). Door has also been removed. 

Ed used french fries at our date night dinner to explain how the support
beam will be placed. Isn't he romantic?

May 7th: Jonas' 9th Birthday

This boy turns 9 today. His passions are Harry Potter, Minecraft, legos, and board games. He is a cub scout and capoeista, and is fascinated by alternative energy sources. Fairness and generosity are important values to him. He's always eager to help his brother with homework, but never eager to put away clothes or empty the dishwasher. We love him so and are deeply grateful to have him as our son. Happy birthday Jonas!

Backside of 40, Summer of 2017

Bought myself some "cup cookies" to share at work

I woke up this morning at 5:51. The window near my head was open for the storms and cooler wind last night. I should have closed it for today's heat, but I forgot.

Vodka and a card from the
boss at Bo Ling's lunch

Ed quickly wished me happy birthday, and gave me a bear hug. I joined him in the kitchen to make lunch for the boys and coffee for us. I ended up mostly washing dishes and fruit.

I love bringing my boys their milk in the mornings. This is a guilty pleasure we have, a holdover from our nurturing days when they were infants. They still get warm milk in bed each morning, though now it's flavored - rabbit (strawberry) for Jonas, chocolate for Gill. They drink out of sippee cups and remind me of little calves drinking thirstily from a bottle.

The morning progressed well past an early scuffle between boys over accidental injuries when I asked Jonas to wake Gill up. Ed jacked up Bruno Mars' "24 Carat"  to get us over the hump. Jonas, you pay attention to lyrics and kept pointing out bad words until I finally said, in exasperation, "Bruno Mars just has a potty mouth Jonas. Deal with it."

Ed and Jonas set off walking to school while Gill and I headed to McClains for danish. I got ham and cheese while Gill got his regular cheese. A dozen cup cookies seemed like a good thing to share with others on my special day.

 A surprise birthday banner from a couple of fun co-workers

About the walking to school, this has been an exciting (and perhaps stressful though it's hard to tell) transition for Jonas. For me, it's been sad and stressful. I am awed and excited about how he has met this challenge head on with no reservation. He wakes up eagerly in the morning, is motivated, and out the door by 7:30 or so. School starts at 8:15 and it only takes 15 minutes to walk there. I worry about you crossing the busy streets - Main, Rockhill, and Oak. Though there are crosswalks at Rockhill and Oak, cars won't stop, not even for kids in a school zone!

The empty sushi boat

I walked around the SOE handing out cookies. My phone has been buzzing all morning with happy birthday texts. There was a birthday card from the UMKC Foundation staff, plus Lydia Allen and Helen LaValley, and a box from Noni. Tonight, we hope to head to Jun's for sushi and then a backyard movie. I hope I get to pick it!

A few things that surprised me on my birthday: google creates a "birthday candle" search that says "Happy Birthday Shelly" on it when you hover over it. Fun! I received email birthday wishes from my podiatrist, dermatologist, State Farm agent, and various women's clothing stores. (I think that's so bizarre!)

Dinner at Jun's with Xye and Grace was a perfect end to the day!

Kitchen Update #6: The last of the plaster

It's Sunday, June 25th. This is how Ed and I started our day:

Don't we look intense? We were bracing for the removal of the last of the plaster, and boy howdy, it WAS intense! It took us about 2 hours, and then another 2 to let the dust settle and try to clean up. 

Here's a pic of what our back patio looks like. Note the wheel barrow, stove, garbage disposal, dishwasher, bucket, broom, rugs, etc. What a mess!

Kitchen Update #5: Big D Day

It's Saturday, June 25. I call it Big D Day. Ed, Adam (a young chem-e student we found on NextDoor) and Gill are taking out cabinets today. Plaster and lathe will come later. Ed removed the dishwasher and the stove yesterday. Last night, after he turned off the water, I freaked out as there was a sink full of dishes. So, we broke in the outdoor sink. I got very wet doing dishes with the hose, but it didn't feel too bad on a summer night. Plus, spilling water all over the floor is no longer a concern. I watered the plants with the grey water. It felt very bohemian.

The hammering this morning was so profound it shook the house. But there's now a lull. As I type this, I can hear Ed in the kitchen talking to Adam about becoming an engineer. "As an engineer, you only have one job - to get what's in your head into another person's head. Communication. And you only do that with your writing, drawing, or speaking skills. You need all three."

Gill got in on the action early. He was sleeping, and I whispered in his ear, "do you want to take out a cabinet?" His eyes popped open and he bounced out of bed like it was Christmas morning.

Yes, he really was swinging that sledge hammer.