I'm not ready for this.

NOTE: this blog entry was created in the Fall of 2012 but not published until 4.26.16.

At a recent neighborhood birthday party, Jonas stayed to play for a really long time. As in hours and hours. I thought it was the lure of the bounce house. I went to check on him and he was following Miriam down the street. He maintained a bit of a distance, but was following her nonetheless.

When I went up to him and said it was time to go, he turned to me with them most earnest expression and said to me, "I'm in love with Miriam."

Understand this: Miriam is the female Dennis the Menace. She's not a bad kid, but she is intrepid, wandering the neighborhood like a vagabond, knocking on each and every door (sometimes just letting herself in) until she finds a receptive place.

Earlier that day, she showed up at our house, opening the door rather than knocking, announcing that her sister's birthday party would begin in 60 minutes. And for that next hour, she played in our house, ate an apple (on her own initiative - we had a little talk about that), hummed the tune to "Funky Town" then left abruptly. She is an adorable brunette with a light olive complexion, a large vocabulary, and indomitable spirit. She is the girl who will cover herself with blue sidewalk chalk while wearing a Snow White costume on any random day.

Given who Miriam is, my first response to Jonas' announcement was to ask, "Did she tell you to say that?" He said "no" so I then asked him what being in love meant to him. He replied, "I want to be with her all the time."

And that's when my heart fell and my stomach turned. I could feel his angst and could feel angst for him, all at the same time.

Miriam trotted back to the bounce house, entered, and when Jonas attempted to follow, she announced that he was not allowed. She told him to stop following her, that she needed space. He lay his head on his arm and sobbed.

She's a great kid, but I worry how she makes my son feel.

This is all within the context of Jonas' first official week of kindergarten. He's been coming home exhausted, and it's having an emotional toll on him. He loves school, but is struggling to find his place among 360 kids and tons of staff and other unfamiliar faces. Miriam is a familiar face; they even ride the bus together. And she's a friendly girl. It's totally predictable, really, but I hate it. I'm not ready for this. He's not ready for this. I thought I had at least another 5 years!

Ed tells me that Jonas is his clone. That he had crushes like this as a kid. I don't remember crushes in kindergarten, and certainly none I discussed with my parents! And I didn't cry over a crush until the END of middle school. I'm sure of this.

My sensitive little boy, so gentle and sweet. How can I protect him from such a rough world?

Meanwhile, Gill is my rough and tumble, resilient comedian. He likes to walk around with either just underwear (often put on backwards) or in the nude. Ed has taught him to say that he's "naked and famous." He still loves to cuddle and it's a nightly battle to get him in his own bed. He insists on falling asleep in our bed. We then  put him in his own bed but he's back within 3 hours. We call him the boomerang. It wouldn't be bad if he wasn't such a wiggler. He will kick you in the face at least 3 times during a one hour period, asleep the whole time. Doesn't matter how far away from you he starts out at.

He's still biting Jonas when they fight, and can be a bully in other ways, but is generally sweet (though not gentle.) He remains fixated on his "paci," stashing them throughout the house, but forgetting where they are. Ed gives in and buys more. Last night, he came home with a pink one with zebra stripes. He's almost 3 1/2 and this is beginning to feel embarrassing. I would put a stop to it if he wasn't so damn cute and in love with the darn thing.

Beach Introduction

Jotted down quick notes to remember your first beach vacation! We stayed in Gulf Shores, AL @ Plantation Inn.

Saw a live shark being caught, plus live star fish, and tons of live little sand dollars. Sand bar about 30 feet from the beach. Went crabbing one night and saw lots of little sand colored crabs - saw how they crawl sideways, can bury themselves, and how their eyes pop up and down.

Collected lots of shells with Noni. Desi took some great photos. Karla flew in from Colombus (arriving in Pensacola). 3 hour roundtrip to pick up / drop off.

15 hour drive from KC. Left Sunday at noon; stopped in Meridian, MS at midnight. Overnight at Best Western. Continued south through Mobile (went in tunnel under Mobile Bay), south on 59, then west on 180. Stayed in Fort Morgan / Gulf Shores at the Plantation.

Arrived on Monday at the 3pm check-in time. Location is far out on the peninsula, accessed only from 180 (not the beach road strip). Secluded, not very commercial. Very family oriented. The people who stay here are very friendly and down to earth. Some smokers though.

Jonas was initially hesitant to go into the water, then we couldn't get him out. He especially liked the boogy board and going out to the sand bar. When he got nervous out in the waves, he said over and over, "oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh" He was so excited to go out on the sandbar, he did the "booty" dance.

Gill celebrated a new-found independence, running away from us quite often.

When Shelly went with the ladies to Tanger on the rainy day, Ed took the kids to Books-a-Million and bought the kids a few toys. Jonas and Ed then put together a lego set for 3 hours.

The boys learned how to climb on the counters to get at the sweet treats in the top cabinets.

Gill only liked the water when someone was holding him; otherwise, he was content with the sound. He pronounced crab "cwab" and sun screen as "sun squeem". He liked making snow angels in the sand, and though I often corrected him, saying "sand angels" he insisted on saying that they were snow angels.

We had family gatherings at breakfast and dinner. Ed and I cooked fresh shrimp, flounder, and ratatoille one night and boudin omelets in the morning. Sherry brought crawfish ettouffee, Desi brought paleo blueberry muffins, and Jan made "whole fruit margaritas." Their unit was 2201; it slept 6 (one bedroom with hallway bunk beds and a pullout sofa) and faced the beach. We stayed in 2218 (down the hall) which was bigger (two bedrooms plus a wet bar), but still only slept six. It faced the parking lot. Karla, Jan and Sherry really enjoyed spending time on the beachfront balcony.

There was an awesome pool with a huge one-foot area that somehow, didn't feel like a kiddie pool. The favored sport at the pool was for Jonas to pull Gill around on the boogey board.

Behind the Pines Restaurant has wicked Fish Tacos and karoake on Wednesday nights. Poboys are not authentic; the bread is wrong. *sigh*

Oceans Restaurant delivers all up and down the strip; poboys are decent (don't order just grilled - boring!)

Tanger outlet was nice (Talbots was all we saw) but very busy on a rainy day. We only missed beach time due to rain on Thursday.

Christmas in Lafayette

We arrived at Noni's house on the 23rd, just in time to catch the last night of lights at Acadian Village. It was truly a (swamp-based) winter wonderland. The weather felt balmy to us at 65 degrees, but Noni was cold and wore Ed's coat.

Noni, Gill and Jonas

The boys loved the sights, including (all made of lights) a green alligator in the water, mosquitos, butterflies and woodpeckers hanging in trees, a carousel, castle, giant inflated Santa, train, and more. It was amazing and beautiful. We should do it every year.

The Chapel and bridge at Village d'Acadian

Next year's Christmas Card?

Christmas Eve was a blur of family, food and fun, staring around 4:30 at Jan and Bob's. Seafood gumbo, ham, turkey and all the fixings. Dessert was pecan pie (with cherries!), cheesecake, and cookies. Santa arrived around 6:00 and had gifts for each of the 11 children present: Kerri, Mia, Cheyenne, Nathan, Andre, Adrian, Abigail, Owen, Vivienne, Gill and Jonas; Jude and Sydney were the only ones missing. Some of the fun....

Cheyenne and Mia model white elephant gifts after a round of Dirty Santa

Santa visited the boys at Noni's house this year. Jonas woke up around 7am and peeked through the louvered doors from the upstairs loft, sizing up the gift pile. I'm sure he was wondering how Santa could manage a visit at Aunt Jan's and Uncle Bob's the night before, and then still deliver gifts to Noni's house later that night. But maybe he's not questioning yet. One of their favorite stocking stuffers was a telescoping magnet. I never would have picked that, but Ed thinks like a little boy I guess.

Gill demonstrates the magnet, without pants.

Jonas' main gift was a megazord (Power Rangers), which has been morphed into many different forms already. Both boys got building structures; Jonas' are pipe-like but have wheels while Gill got pyramid and soft rubber type construction pieces. Ed was happy to explain to Jonas the difference between male and female ends on pipes. Ed says he understood instantly. They both know the words periscope and telescope and have been building those to go along with a police submarine. Gill got a handy grocery cart (a metal look-alike to the real thing) to pile all of the toys into and wheel around. It's only a matter of time before they start riding each other in it.

Ed got me a remote starter for my car, a beautiful book by John Slaughter on Grand Coteau, and retro handle for my phone. I got him a pen and ink drawing of the old water tower in Kansas City. Mom bought us a gift certificate to the new Kauffman Performing Arts Center and we got her fun clothes (two vests) and a pepper grinder (she requested it!).

But the best part of the holiday was getting to meet Eli. Although this picture doesn't show it, he's a very content, happy child. He looks like Jennifer's side of the family, but has Dexter's eyes and mouth. What a precious boy! If you had told my mother 6 years ago that she would have 3 grandsons, she would not have believed it.

Patterns & Padawans

Jonas has taken a rabid interest in art. He is quite prolific.  When I pick him up at daycare, he has about 8 pages of artwork to take home with him.  Though some of it involves stamping, he prefers raised stencils; he makes rubbings using crayons. We've started organizing all of it with sheet protectors in a binder so he can flip through and look at it. I'm struggling with my urge to recycle at least some of the 24 copies of a barn scene in brown. His favorite crayons are ones brought to him by Noni in a special truck carrier.  They don't have a paper wrapper and are triangular. I think the shape make them easier to grasp.

His teachers let him borrow the stencils from school.  When I helped him understand that there was a scene on one side and a pattern on the back, he was fascinated. He didn't know what a pattern was, and continues to pronounce it like Padawan.

Speaking of Star Wars, he has green light saber shoes and a cheaper pair of red Lightening McQueen shoes. Gill has light up shoes as well....red fire trucks. Recently, Jonas enjoys wearing one green shoe and one red one. People notice - you'd be surprised. I tell people that he's a clown in training.

On the food scene, Jonas has discovered miniature bagels, and loves them with whipped cream cheese. But his favorite food remains the corn dog. Gill likes them too but peels off the breading, eating just the "dog." Gill occasionally eats bananas like one would eat corn on the cob. He also enjoys fish pills - not swallowing them, chewing them. Yes, he eats fish oil, straight. We try to give him baths on those nights. He smells like a little sardine after a feeding frenzy of fish oil.

Our Special Yankee

Tonight, after dinner, we decided to teach the boys the song "Yankee Doodle Dandy." I think it had something to do with the fact that they were eating macaroni and cheese.

Anyway, we went through the song a few times, explaining the obscure words like "mind the music and the step" means "pay attention to the music and dancing." We'd start the phrase and have the boys provide the last word. When we got to the last line, "and with the girls..." Jonas finished with "behave" instead of "be handy."

So, would you correct your young son if he made that mistake?

Yeah, we didn't either.